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aspects of life they confuse me
you and your thesis amuse me

imjohnlocked:

John, you’re going to get stabbed by an umbrella one day

(Source: vitalyorlovs, via goldentulips)

gwenstefuckme:

When your sneeze turns into a fucking death metal scream

(via dietchola)

goddammitfenton:

if you ever feel bad about yourself, just remember this one time in my english class, we were writing horror stories and one of the girls wrote “it was friday the 13th, the night before halloween” for her opening sentence

(via dietchola)